Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem |
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Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
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by John Bradshaw
Sales Rank: 14892
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Discount: 20 %
List Price: $13.95
$11.16
At Amazon
on 6-20-2008.
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Features
Cover Type: Paperback with 230 pages
Published by: HCIEdition: Revised Edition April 1, 1990
Written in: English
ISBN 10 Number: 1558744274
ISBN 13 Number: 978-1558744271
Book Dimensions:
8.8 x 5.9 x 0.8 inches
Weighs: 15.2 ounces
From Library Journal
Bradshaw (Family Secrets, LJ 1/95), a well-known speaker and author on such topics as addiction, recovery, and spirituality, has released a revised version of John Bradshaw: On Family, which first accompanied his 1984 television series. In this edition, he speaks out on the need for democracy within the family, as opposed to a patriarchal model of family relations. Throughout, Bradshaw refers to earlier models of child rearing as "poisonous pedagogy," and he is deeply committed to changing parenting within today's families and helping adults damaged by the parenting they received to rebuild their self-esteem. He uses many of the techniques of Adult Children of Alcoholics and similar groups in helping the reader identify problems and repair damage. Earlier editions of this book have sold more than a million copies, so public libraries will certainly have a demand for this title.
Kay L. Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills., Md.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From AudioFile
Is any family "normal"? According to Bradshaw, an expert in family relationships, the answer is probably "no." However, through a series of critically acclaimed tapes, Bradshaw kindly and cleanly explains the factors that shape an individual and define how a family functions. The tapes are broken down into ten independent presentations, so a listener can choose which topics are of personal interest. However, all the tapes provide valuable insight into behavior. Bradshaw is a gifted speaker, full of energy and empathy, who makes it impossible to forget the important information he imparts in this great series. E.W.S. (c)AudioFile, Portland, Maine
--This text refers to the
Audio Cassette
edition.
Reader Reviews
The central idea of Bradshaw's book is an interesting one: that in recent decades, psychological research has begun to focus on seeing the family as an emotional system, and that one can't just study an individual's psychological difficulties without seeing his or her role in the family & the family's interactions. Families each have their own unique culture which creates an emotional environment that children learn from & absorb. People growing up in healthy families become mature healthy people, who have their own identity & have a healthy separation from their family; they have learned that they are free to feel what they feel and express it even if it goes against the family "script," roles, or views. If there are disagreements, then people fight fairly, with nobody is trying to manipulate each other or use each other to satisfy unmet emotional needs. Bradshaw then looks at the dynamics in dysfunctional families. He examines, in turn, families with alcoholics, families who are physically or emotionally abusive, and those that are co-dependent. These families may have problems with enmeshment, guilt, control, shame, family secrets, continuous fighting or no fighting because "wrong" emotions are forbidden. He highlights the fact that dysfunctional families often have dysfunctional kids, who then seek out, find, and marry other dysfunctional people (since they act in a familiar, though dysfunctional, way). In this way, certain family problems such as alcoholism, violence, and so on can be handed down across generations. Because of this, one should examine one's problems in the context of one's family, and always look for the "problem behind the problem" (i.e. ask what drives one to drink? Rather than just address alcoholism as an addiction). Bradshaw goes on to give a 12-step plan for recovery to escape this pattern. The 12-step program he outlines mimics the one that Alcoholics Anonymous uses (Bradshaw is himself a recovering alcoholic). Overall, I found the book to have several pluses and minuses. On the plus side, I thoroughly enjoyed the first third of the book, which laid out the main idea that the family must be understood as a system. The rest of the book amplifies and repeats the ideas in the first third, then goes into detail about the dynamics in various dysfunctional families & recovery. These details seemed to be somewhat similar, redundant, and somewhat obvious, though they will probably resonate with those stuck in those particular situations. Next, one slightly annoying technique that Bradshaw uses is that he often spells out a phrase, then use each letter in that phrase to write a paragraph about a related idea (for example, F.A.M.I.L.Y => F=Feedback loops are important...; A=Autonomy is key...; M=Marriage is a chief Component of families....etc.). Also, Bradshaw seems to emphasize that "shame" is the root cause of almost every problem he describes; I thought that this oversimplifies the issues involved. Finally, the book seems (and is, I suppose) geared towards a mass audience, so it's not a deep psychological text and at times it seems to have some "pop psychology" elements. But as I said before, I thought the first third of the book was good & worth reading, since it covers the main ideas. The rest of the book, about recovery & specific situations of abuse, can be skimmed or read in depth if one particular family situation applies to you.
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Bradshaw On: The Family: A New Way of Creating Solid Self-Esteem
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